Marching Through Opposition

Today's blog post was contributed by FUMCR Staff Member, Fred Trevino.

When we stopped in Red River, New Mexico, on our way to Walla Washington, it was Labor day weekend. That night we turned on the television and caught the great march on Washington led by Martin Luther King. We were in awe! I then thought it would be great to be part of such a march someday.

When we arrived in Walla Walla we immediately became involved in dealing with housing and all the details of starting life anew in a new location. Before long the details were dealt with and the work at the church was beginning to take shape. One day there appeared an editorial in the daily newspaper concerning a proposed march being planned by the local NAACP. The opinion of the editor was to not proceed with the plan because it would cause division in the community. Upon reading the news I told Laverne I wanted to march! As I was sharing this with other staff members at the church I became aware of their uneasiness. The chair of the administrative board visited me and advised against my participation in the march. The more advice offered to stay away the more I was determined to be part of that event.

The day of the march arrived and I prepared myself and wondered what would happen. Our son was four and he wanted to come along, although he did not know what the deal was all about. Laverne reluctantly said okay and off we went. As we began to gather at Whitman College I observed that we were two of the very few “non-blacks” in the procession. As we marched the streets were lined white people of all ages yelling words at us that were very scary. My son was finding it difficult to keep up the pace so I hoisted him up on my shoulders so he could see things from a vantage point. At that point someone begin singing “We Shall Over Come” and it was as if an angelic chorus of several hundred lifted their voices with a sense of determination and courage. I looked up at my son who was waving at the yelling bystanders and I felt as I could conquer the world. The singing grew louder and soon it seemed that the taunting was lessening and our voices rang with a new sense of conviction. I also noted that a few of those shouting stepped off the curbs and joined the march.

The march ended at City Hall, speeches were made and soon we began disperse to go to our homes. I reached up and lowered my son to my side. Several of the marchers came up and thanked me for joining them and reached down and patted my son on the head. One older woman reached down and hugged him. A white man and woman approached us and said, “We were on the sidelines watching, but when we saw you and your son on your shoulders, we had to join the parade.”

Every once in a while I have asked my 50 year old son if he remembers that day. He says, “Not really, but thanks for starting me on the road to pursue freedom for all.”

Standing up for justice has always involved taking risks. I have found the risks were worth it when the end results were witnessed. Opposition and persecution are never pleasant but standing up and being part of a great cause is worth it. My son is proof of that to me.

Facing Christ: A Life Changing Experience

Today's blog post was contributed anonymously.

When I was younger, I was dealing with my own insecurities as a teenager. I spent lots of time doing things that I shouldn’t have done... as some teenagers do.

On a sunny afternoon, when I was 15, I took my father’s truck without permission. What then ensued changed my life, forever.

I picked up my friend and we decided to see how well this truck could go off-road. It was not an off road pickup. During our time in the dirt with the pickup I had an accident. I rolled the pickup and landed it on its driver side. I was severely injured physically and emotionally.
I would have been killed but just moments before the accident, even though he hadn't been wearing it for the duration of the ride, my friend decided fasten his seat belt. Fortunately there were angels watching over me that day.

I had to go face to face with more than just my parents, but Christ as well. I had to thank him and apologize for my behavior.
I healed and was able to move on in my life. This eye-opening experience has taught me the valuable lesson of knowing I am constantly being loved and that Christ watches out for me even when I am in a wrong place.

Facing Ridicule

We asked some of the staff to share a time when they had witnessed persecution or ridicule. Several great responses were submitted. One simple response from staff member, Kevin McGill, really stops you in your tracks. See his response below:

Tell of a time that you've witnessed persecution or ridicule?
Each and every night I go out to referee...

Wow! Can you think of a time when you have attended a sporting event? Do you find yourself heckling the opposing team or the official? Have you experienced anyone else doing this?

Imagine the crowds surrounding Jesus as he carried the heaviest cross of all, walking through crowds of people ridiculing him.

What thoughts or images come to mind for you?

Learning How To Forgive...Myself

Today's blog post was contributed by Rodney Whitfield, FUMCR Staff Member.

All week we have been reflecting upon Clayton’s Message about Forgiveness. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn and I am still struggling with, is how to forgive myself. I can ask forgiveness from others and I try really hard to forgive others, but forgiving me is tough.

This next week is Holy Week. This week we remember, celebrate, and recount the last week of Jesus’ life. During that last week Judas betrays Jesus and I am guessing he never could forgive himself. I wonder if he could have eventually forgiven himself if he had not taken his own life.

When I was 15 my mother was dying with cancer, the battle was coming to an end and I just wanted my mom not to be in pain any more. And I prayed for her to die. I wanted her to be with Jesus. It was only a few days and my prayer came true. But I didn’t have peace. In fact I felt some how responsible. What if I hadn’t prayed that prayer? What if I hadn’t given up hope?

It took a long time for me to hear God’s message, and to forgive myself. I didn’t do anything wrong and you might think I am crazy for feeling guilty. But I did, and I needed forgiveness. I didn’t need it from God, but from myself. After that happened, I began to find peace. I began to find new life.

Are you holding on to something you need to be forgiven for?

Do you need to forgive yourself for something?

I pray this lent you might find the forgiveness you need to set you free and give you a new start in life, a life with peace and love.

Experienced Forgiveness

Today's blog post was contributed by Marilyn Dickson, FUMCR Staff Member.

When, in your life, have you experienced forgiveness?

Often, whenever I finally choose to be vulnerable enough to confess what I have done or left undone before God in prayer. There are usually tears, sometimes I write this as well, but always a sense of peace and relief and recognition I can start over again.

Real Forgiveness

Watch this moving video that demonstrates real forgiveness on multiple levels.



Please share your thoughts.

"It's Okay" Forgiveness

Today's blog post was contributed by Dianne Weideman, FUMCR Staff Member.

It seems simple, but I was devastated when I didn't believe my daughter that the next day was pajama day at school. She was the only one without pajamas on when it is her favorite thing. I felt so bad, but she just hugged me and said it was okay.

Is there something in your life that needs "child-like" forgiveness?

Fear of Not Being Forgiven

Today's blog post was contributed by Amber Rose, FUMCR Staff Member.

This week we have looked at so many fears that we struggle with or have experienced. One fear that we might overlook when thinking about more tangible ones is an internal fear. A fear of not being accepted or forgiven. The media often portrays the private lives of celebrities and saturates the headlines when one makes a mistake. We are in a culture that thrives on another's mishaps. This can be intimidating when we think about our own personal mishaps.
What if our closest relationships shunned us the same way we witness on television or on the Internet?
Wouldn't it just be easier to say nothing at all and move on?
Fear of rejection can be paralyzing.
Are you needing to ask for forgiveness from someone or something but afraid you will be denied forgiveness?

Join us tomorrow in worship as we come face to face with forgiveness.

Coming Face to Face with Fear...

Today's blog post was contributed by Rodney Whitfield, FUMCR Staff Member.

I came face to face with one of my greatest fears two and half years ago. I became a father for the first time. I was so scared. I love kids, but other people kids. I went to all the classes they offered to us as expectant parents. I also went to Daddy Bootcamp, a one day workshop to get prepared. Some of my fears went away.
Then Grace was born. I was changing diapers and fixing bottles with the best of them. More of my fears went away. 15 months later we had Justice and a few more fears went away.
But not all of them… I still have a fear of messing up my kids. I have fears of losing one in a crowd or one of them getting hurt. I want the best for them. I want them to know how special they are and how they can do anything in life. I want them to be a legacy from my life and not a casualty. I don’t want to do something which keeps them from growing into the person God created them to be. I am afraid that I will say or do something that will mess them up…
It is the same fear I am sure most parents experience. I am pretty sure Mary and Joseph feared messing up God’s Son as they were raising him.
Clayton’s sermon helped me when he said, fears are legit, but he also reminded me to keep my eyes on Jesus.
Hm…m…m…m I guess that means I need to keep praying, and keep reading the bible, but even more than that I guess that means I need to surround myself with others who are seeking to be Christ like. Right?

Because what I have experienced is that when my fear rises and I turn to my friends, my kids’ Godparents, or my parents. I find support, I find Christ, and I stop sinking.

Do you have a fear that you are trying to overcome?

Do you have a support network that keeps you from sinking when the fear is rising?

Patience To Work Through Fear

Today's blog post was contributed by Allyson George, FUMCR Staff Member.

Our first child had a tough birth that meant a stay in the NICU for awhile. With our second child everything went fine until after we hadbeen home for some time. One day we took our child in sick and the nextmoment we were on our way to Children's hospital. We were in a newcity, no family or friends to join us in that immediate twenty-fourhour period and fear overtook us.

Fear of the unknown, the people in the hospital we did not know and having to trust that what they were telling us was the best for our child.

Fear of loneliness at night as one of us had to go home to take of the older child at home.

Fear that you know will simply take patience to work through.

Fear: Falling From A Mountain

Today's blog post was contributed by Fred Trevino, FUMCR Staff Member.

For several years my son and I would do some mountain climbing every year when we vacationed in Hawaii. One year he and a friend and I decided to venture to one of the highest points on Oahu. As we began the climb my son led the way, I was in the middle and his friend took up the rear. The paths soon gave way to some very narrow spaces as we wound up and up some very steep places. At one point we were going around an especially difficult turn and I placed the wrong foot in a wrong place and began to lose my balance and knew I was going to fall down and over the side of the mountain. As I went down my son turned to see what was happening and immediately reached back to try and grab my arm as I was falling. He caught my right arm and I fell. At the same time his friend reached out and caught my left arm and there began a back and forth swaying and stretching of my limbs and bouncing off the side of the mountain. There was terror in their eyes as they scrambled to get a solid foothold for themselves and hold on to me. The fear that began to take hold me left me when I saw that look on their faces. I experienced a calmness that led me to give them suggestions as to what to do so they would not let me drop to what would have been a catastrophic fall.

I looked up and instructed my son to reach up into his back pack and pull out a rope, somehow loop it and lower it so I could place it around by bottom and then they could pull me up. The amazing thing was that I had no idea he had a rope in the backpack. Slowly he did what I instructed and before long they were pulling me up, bruised and battered. We sat for a spell without speaking because words just could not express what we were feeling. My son’s friend was no model of spiritually but all at once he said, “this must have been a God thing!” I looked at him and my son and thought, “Yea!”

As I look back and ponder that experience, I can’t explain how my fear turned into a moment of calmness. I do remember my son’s eyes and the fear I saw in him. My concern was for him and his friend and somehow something else took hold. My son’s friend was right. It was a God thing.

Top 10 Fears

We decided to "google" the top fears and our internet search came back with some interesting finds! Here is an excerpt from FaceYourFearsToday.com :


Top 10 Fears

While the exact rankings change slightly from year to year, the following is a list of America's most common fears.* See if one or more of your fears are on the list.

1. Snakes - 51%
2. Speaking in public - 40%
3. Heights - 36%
4. Being closed in a small space - 34%
5. Spiders and insects - 27%
6. Needles and getting shots - 21%
7. Mice - 20%
8. Flying on a plane - 18%
9. Dogs (sorry, Lassie) - 11%
9. Thunder and lightning - 11%
9. Crowds - 11%
10. Going to the doctor - 9%

* Gallup Poll, February 18-21, 2001 (1,016 respondents; + or - 3%)

Fear Of The Unknown

Today's blog post was contributed by Marilyn Dickson, FUMCR Staff Member.

When we first moved overseas and left all that was familiar we had to face new ways of doing things, learn local custom and deal with short phrases in a foreign language. The first time through customs was frightening as I was pulled aside and led into a small room by a man who spoke no English and had an armed guard with him. I had no idea why this was happening . Had I done something wrong?

My mind was reeling and my heart pounded. Instantly my mind raced to a worse case scenario of jail and then death. It turned out my visa signature was not easily read and only needed to be verified. A phone call took care of it and it was all very benign but at the time, in the face of the unknown, it terrified me.

What is your greatest fear?

Healing Through Forgiveness

Today's post was contributed by Fred Trevino, FUMCR Staff Member.

It all began very simply. The father was asking for a reason why his daughter was not considered for a part in the musical. No matter how I tried to explain the reasons he was not convinced and left swearing at me and saying I would regret the decision that had made reached. I remember feeling completely helpless and very guilty.

When ever I would see him at church he always would find a way to go another direction. Telephone calls and attempts to reconcile just were not working. Comments were being passed along by others and judgments were made as to who was at fault. I began to receive telephone calls expressing support as well as some highly critical.

One evening our family was taking a walk on the beach where we were vacationing. We saw in the distance the person with whom I had experienced the conflict. My first reaction was to move the other way as fast as possible and then I decided to face him. He too seemed to hesitate and then kept walking toward us. When we were facing each other we just stood there for what seemed a long time. All of a sudden he said, ”Please forgive me! I have allowed my unreasonableness to almost ruin our relationship. I did not realize how much that meant to me until this happened. Please forgive me!” This big man reached out with his large long arms and embraced me and I heard him crying. I too began to cry and said, “I forgive you, please forgive me!”

I remembered the story about my grandmother. She was chatting with a neighbor across the back fence one day and an argument developed over something or other. All of a sudden the neighbor slapped grandmother in anger. My grandmother began to cry and then literally turned the other cheek. The neighbor began to cry as did grandmother. They then embraced and asked for each others forgiveness.

I have learned that forgiveness is not easy to give or receive. But there is something about saying the words and extending the gesture that makes it possible.

Healing Rain

GodTube.com - Michael w Smith - Healing Rain- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

YES! We Have Come Face To Face With Healing...

Today's blog was contributed by Jennifer Rawlinson, FUMCR Staff Member.

The church staff was asked to answer several questions related to Clayton’s “Face to Face” sermon series. One of those questions was “When have you come face to face with healing?” Of all the questions, this was the easiest for me to answer, as my experience is still so fresh and before me.

Last year on May 3, my father suffered a major stroke, a very large area on the right side of his brain. For a time, he was not able to lift his left arm, move his left hand, his left field vision was affected, drooping of most everything on the left side of his body. One of the neurologists who we are now calling “Dr. Doom” said he may never regain that sight, might not walk, and most likely would not drive again.

Dad spent a week in ICU, 6 weeks in inpatient rehab, then came to live with us in mid-June and began outpatient rehab. Then a huge setback, another stroke on July 4th. We were back to square one. But not really. The 2nd stroke happened in Dallas, so new doctors, new medications, more rehab. On October 1st, rehab ended and Dad started working out at the YMCA just up the street. By December 4th he was doing so well, he moved into his own apartment! For 3 months he could be seen walking all over….to church, to the library, the corner convenience store, the dollar store, the Chinese restaurant….all of this a miracle to us. He began attending The Gathering, Friday morning Bible study, playing bridge, and even singing in the choir! Then of all things, he got behind the wheel about a month ago and surprised us all – he did great! Last weekend, he bought a car, and is now proudly driving all over the place, and yesterday celebrated another birthday, about 10 mos. to the day after his stroke in May. We had so much more to celebrate than a birthday!

My dad, being a former athlete and Houston Oiler, is no stranger to hard work. I believe his determination was a huge factor in his recovery, but we all agree that the largest part of it was God and his amazing goodness, mercy, and the prayers of His faithful people here at FUMCR for health and healing, who gave Dad (and us) the strength, hope, peace and courage to persevere through one of the darkest valleys any of us had ever faced. Have we come face to face with healing? Yes, we have!

Talk About Healing

When is a time in your life that you've witnessed healing?

Healing- From A Daughter's Perspective

Today's blog post was written by Dianne Weideman, FUMCR Staff Member.

As I was heading into high school, I was embarking on a new journey in my life. I soon learned that my mother was embarking on a new journey as well, but not one as exciting. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer. To this day, it never ceases to amaze me the strength my mom showed throughout the process. With two teenagers at home, she was definitely not getting the support she deserved. However, the entire time, she thought of nothing but us and we hardly knew she was ever sick. She even opted for a mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy to make sure they got it all and she would be around to see her kids grow up.

Four years later, I was heading off to college and beginning another new journey in my life. My mother was also given a new journey as well. She was once again diagnosed with breast cancer. This time also resulted in a mastectomy and she had beaten it again. The reconstructive surgery, however, did not go well and required six surgeries to fix the first one. Even though her kids were older, it was the same story. You would have never known she was sick. She attacked the whole ordeal like it was just a bump in life’s road that needed some attention. It was just additional appointments on her busy calendar and nothing that was going to keep her from getting the most out of life that she could.

Life is full of journeys, some you ask for and desire and some that are given to you to endure. The courage and strength you show during hard times mold not only yourself, but those around you as well. My mom’s journey has strengthened me and made a much more confident person. I hope I can live up to my mom’s example and be that same strength for my daughters when my journey is handed to me.

Ark House Faces Real Challenges

Today's blog post was contributed by Connie Cross, Ark House President. Ark House was highlighted in worship last week and will be again tomorrow. Hope you join us!

In 1985 two members of First United Methodist Church Richardson faced the frightening challenge of cancer. Ben Glomb, the patient, was being treated at M.D. Anderson in Houston, and his wife, Joyce, wanted to be by his side. The couple also faced the financial challenge presented by living away from home for an extended period of time.

As a result of their experience, they encouraged the Ark Sunday school class to take on the challenge of providing affordable temporary housing to patients coming to Dallas for medical treatment. Twenty-five years later, born from the challenges faced by the Glombs, Ark House continues to thrive. The project has grown from one apartment in 1985 to 19 fully furnished apartments in 2010. A twentieth apartment will become operational on April 1st of this year. These wonderful “homes away from home” have provided support to countless individuals and families as they face the fear and challenge of serious health issues and the financial hardships this can cause.
Ark House, which is run by an all volunteer staff, has confronted and overcome many challenges of its own throughout the years. Difficulties arise with landlords, maintenance, apartment locations, funding, and other operational issues. The dedicated volunteers accept these challenges; meet them head on, and continue to find solutions to make Ark House better. The challenges have kept the organization vibrant and growing. It is truly fascinating to watch this organization in action and to see the blessings bestowed on so many. This project is a clear example of risk taking service, radical hospitality, and extravagant generosity.

Everything Was Great

Today's blog was contributed by an FUMCR Staff Member.


As a young adult I had an unexpected death in my family. I was young, newly married and "everything was going great." Death was not yet a common experience in my life. I now recognize that I was moving through the stages of grief but I did not go through it alone. My Christian friends recognized the spiritual challenges I was facing and took that journey with me, letting me ask any and all questions of God. My friends never doubted my faith and never stopped me from even the hardest questions. I often got so wrapped up in my own grief that my friends would rally together and just 'show up' at my house to sit with me, garden with me, or whatever I needed at that moment. I learned I was not alone during a tough time in my life. Between God and my family and friends, I made it through a dark time.

Coming Face to Face with Challenges

Today's blog was contributed by an FUMCR Staff Member.

All of us face challenges in our lives on a fairly regular basis. . . some are so silly in retrospect, but others have played an enormous influence on who we are today. Such is the case with perhaps my biggest challenge in life which happened long ago, but is as fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. While my husband served in Vietnam I was living in Kansas with 4 of our children.
The challenge I thought was going to be just being totally responsible for the total care of our home and our children – their activities, their needs on a day to day basis. Then on a cold winter morning when three of the children were off to school. . .the door bell rang. . .and there stood a man in a black suit with a telegram in his hand. He asked me my name and if there was someone in the house with me or if I could call a neighbor. There was no one in the house with me except our 18 month old child whom I quickly picked up and said. . .she is here. . . please give me the telegram and I took it from his hand as he said. . .well, he’s not dead yet! I closed the door, nervously opened the envelope and there was my greatest challenge. Friends and family surrounded us in the months that followed as he lay in a hospital in Japan before being transported back to the U.S. They could not be with me 24/7.. . .but it was during this time that I suddenly realized that I was never alone that God was always with me even when I made stupid decisions or when I felt the loneliest. Years have past and God has never left me. . .I still hear his voice saying, you CAN do this. . .I am with you.

A new baby and no income...talk about challenging!

Today's blog was contributed by an FUMCR Staff Member.


“When in your life have you faced a challenge?” My first thought was, really? Each day is a challenge. But seriously, what has been a major challenge in my life?

One was adjusting to a single income after our first child was born. Before the baby, our two incomes bought us new clothes, things for the house, and regular vacations. We were thrilled to have a new baby, but weren’t totally prepared financially. A layoff for me right before the baby was born forced the decision for me to stay home, take care of the baby, and do freelance work. Hah…

It was challenging to live on one income, take care of the baby (growing into an active toddler), look for part-time work, and be a good spouse while being stressed out all the time about money. It was challenging to make one income cover the basics – no room for extras like cute baby clothes, baby photos, or fun trips.

I constantly said prayers for God to give me patience with our toddler and to help me find a flexible job. Eventually Mother’s Day-Out, preschool and then full day Kindergarten started for our child and more work opportunities developed for me.

Everyone faces financial challenges in their lives – no matter how much money you make. The important thing is how you face those challenges and realize you can get through them with determination and strength that God gives you.

When In Your Life Have You Faced A Challenge?

Today's blog post was contributed by Mike Lightfoot, FUMCR Staff Member.


When asked this question I immediately thought of the Comrades Ultra-Marathon I ran last May in South Africa. This is not only a 56-mile run with a 12 hour time limit; it is also run on the hilliest terrain imaginable.

If you’ve ever run a marathon you know there is a point during the race that you will want to quit. It’s inevitable. The thought of stopping your run and resting is almost overwhelming and you need to overcome this temptation in order to finish. Tired legs and a lack of breath will make a coward of anyone. The challenge is to continue the race.

In the Comrades Marathon I didn’t face the “decision” until mile 42 or so. It was then that I realized my strained Achilles wouldn’t allow me to run anymore. Of course, there had been little moments of doubt during the earlier portion of the race, but this injury meant I would definitely not finish! The smart thing would have been to jump on board one of the vans that were quickly filling up with people, go to the stadium, relax and grab a bite to eat. Instead, I decided to go as far as possible. So, for the final 8 miles I walked. I tried to run a few more times but was never able to accomplish more than a walk without experiencing severe pain.

Have you ever been almost out of your head with exhaustion? Imagine being that tired and knowing that your goal will not be accomplished; and then, to make matters worse, having air conditioned vans driving beside you, tempting you to ride in comfort. The challenge was to ignore that temptation and know that if I went as far as possible I would have no regrets.

When faced with a challenge there is always a choice: accept it or don’t. At the “decision” point of the race my mind was filled with the anxiety that comes from not knowing what to do. Should I make the smart, comfortable choice and quit or should I persevere? Quitting makes your immediate life much easier, but in the long run (no pun intended) you’re wise to push on. Today I still have a desire to finish the Comrades Marathon, but I have no regrets. I know that I couldn’t have done any more that day. By continuing this race I was able to look back and know that I’d done my best.

Challenged in Selfishness

Today's blog is an excerpt from elliestumbo.blogspot.com


When I held my firstborn daughter, Ellie, my understanding of unconditional love took on a new dimension. As I gazed into her face, I knew I would die for her. There was nothing she could do that would make me stop loving her. Becoming a mother had allowed me to understand the depth of God's unconditional love. But when my second baby was born, I quickly realized I had a lot to learn. As I held my second child, Nichole, in my arms, my understanding of unconditional love was shaken. I gazed into her face and all I could see was Down syndrome. She was disabled-- she was broken. As I dealt with her diagnosis, I was overwhelmed with strong feelings and emotions, but love was not one of them.
I thought the tears would never stop. Questions and fears flooded my mind in tidal waves making it hard to think clearly. What would become of my family? Would Nichole ever be independent? Would I be able to enjoy life again? Would she be successful in any way? Would she die before us? What will people think about her? Would people feel sorry for her?
I reminded myself of God's promises. I held on to the fact that he is good and that his ways are higher than my ways. Yet, I could not ignore what was happening inside of me, inside of my heart. Why God, did you give me a child with a disability? Why me? I do not want a baby with Down syndrome, Lord! I meant it when I said my life was yours and you do with it whatever you want, but now that I am here I don't want a baby with special needs! I am just not up for THAT kind of challenge!
After Nichole's two week well-baby check, I got a call from the doctor. He suspected she had a rare liver condition that could take her life if she didn't go to the hospital for immediate treatment. I hung up the phone, my hand trembling. It was happening; she was going to die. I had told God I did not want her, and he was going to take her back.
I slumped on the floor. In all my grieving and tears I never really thought about Nichole. I was only thinking about me. Those two weeks had been consumed with my feelings-- what the diagnosis would mean to me, what my life would be like. Nichole had made me see the ugliest parts of my heart-- parts I never thought existed. These parts were the most repulsive forms of ...selfishness.
I pictured myself standing before the Lord. He was asking me why I had not loved his precious child. I started to weep. I could not let her go without being loved. So I knelt down on my living room floor, shaking and sobbing, "I choose to love her Lord. With everything that I am, with all that is within me, from this day on, I choose to love!"
We drove to the hospital, anxious and worried. From that day on, I could not do life without Nichole. I needed her. God was using a baby that was less than perfect in the eyes of the world to challenge me and to know my heart. It turns out that she was not broken after all. I was!
It had been so easy to love Ellie; she was perfect in every way. She surprised us with her talents and abilities and was everything I had always wanted, I realized that my love was easily given and naturally felt because she had met all of my expectations and surpassed them all. But my love for her was full of selfishness too. Would I have loved her the same way from the beginning if she had been born with Down syndrome? Would I have delighted in her just as much?
Three days of testing found that Nichole's liver was healthy but immature and could heal with time and good feedings. My days of challenge had resulted in "heart surgery," something that only God could heal in me. I could give unconditional love to Nichole and to Ellie too. My heart had been sick with selfishness for a long time, and I didn't even know it.
I know unconditional love not because I'm a mother, but because it was given to me. God's love was poured over me in abundance when I was lost in selfishness He did not give up on me even in my darkest moments because he loves me-- unconditionally.


Tell of a time in your life when God has challenged you.